Thursday, June 7, 2007

How I made out with Joan Jett

The title of this one is a little misleading, im not entirely sure if it actually WAS Joan Jett that I made out with, but let me tell you the story and you can decide for yourself.

So me and Tenmagnet were in San Francisco in late October last year (2006) doing a seminar. A lot of the instructors (Save Future) hate San Francisco because of the lack of attractive women and I generally agree with this, but I had such a great time in San Francisco that I have no qualms about the city whatsoever. I even ended up getting laid twice during the weekend by two hot women (well 1 hot, 1...hippy dogwalker), and I could literally make half a dozen blogs about all the cool shit me and Tenmagnet did in the 3 days we were there (and I probably will), so San Fran is pretty fuckin rightous in my books. Anyways, back to the story...

On the second night of the seminar we went to this smallish bar on a trendy strip near the wharf I believe. It had a small dance floor and a patio in the back with a lot of seating so we spent most of the night hitting the seated sets there. 1 am rolls around and all the students are in sets and doing really well so I decide to game a bit for myself.

I see a group of 4 women come in who all look about 35-40ish but are dressed REALLY fucking cool. I generally enjoy talking to women who are 30+ because they always seem so much more appreciative of the attention, so I walk over and open them.

Cajun: You guys are seriously the best dressed women here, are you in a band or something?

Two of the women laugh and look over at their rocker chick looking friend who I hadnt really noticed yet.

Blonde in Red dress: You're cute, whats your name?

Cajun: Cajun, as in the spice, and you?

Blonde in Red Dress: (I forget her name)

Cajun: Introduce me to your friend.

At this point 2 of the other girls went to get a drink so there was only the blonde in the red dress and the rocker chick.

Blonde in Red Dress: This is Sandy, were lesbians (laughs)

Cajun: Really? I love lesbians! Come here Sandy, you're my new American Best friend.

I put my arm around Sandy, Tenmagnet notices and comes over and talks to the blonde in the red dress.

Sandy: Oh you're not american?

Cajun: Nope, Canadian, don't make fun of me though, im sensitive. Wow you look a LOT like Joan Jett.

Sandy: Laughs, yeah I get that all the time.

I notice a tattoo sticking out from her cleavage.

Cajun: Wait a sec...let me see your cleavage.

Sandy: I dont have any.

I pull her shirt down a bit and see that she has the same cleavage tatoo that Joan Jett has. I realize that if it IS Joan Jett and I call her on it that It might fuck the sarge up, so I keep quiet.

Cajun: I like your tattoo, you're hardcore like Joan Jett too, thats so fucking sexy. I've had the biggest crush on her since forever. You're officially the coolest lesbian i've ever met.

Sandy: Haha you're so cute, I actually play in a Joan Jett cover band. (smiles at me seductively)

Cajun: I bet you do. (I grab her by the lower back and pull her in closer)

Cajun: Wow, you're in really good shape (she was fucking ripped from what I could feel) its too bad you're a lesbian.

Sandy: Yeah, its too bad you're a guy, your sexy as hell.

Cajun: You ever kissed a straight canadian guy?

Sandy: Not in a while.

Cajun: Come here...

We make out HARD and she grabs my ass (some lesbian). Her friends come back and tell me and Tenmagnet that they are going back to the hotel but that we should come with them. I begrudgingly tell them that I cant leave my other friends (students) and "Sandy" leaves me her hotel name and room number with the name "Joan" written on it, which I still have.

We ended up pulling some hot younger girls that night so I never went to the hotel (which I regret to this day after learning what I did later).

So I get back to Toronto and tell my friend about the whole thing who is a HUGE Joan Jett fan. She tells me this:

-Joan Jett had a concert in San Francisco the next week.

-I thought Joan Jett's head was shaved so I never thought it was actually her, my friend showed me a recent picture and her hair was EXACTLY THE SAME AS SANDY's and she looked identical.

-The hotel they were staying in was one of the nicest in San Fran.

-Who the fuck travels around in a Joan Jett cover band staying in 5 star hotels??

-They had the exact same cleavage tattoo (which arguably could have been fake but COME ON)

So there you go, I cant ever be 100% certain but holy fuck thats a lot of weird coincidences if it wasn't her.

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