Monday, January 28, 2008

Advanced Body Language Part 2

Advanced Body Language – Part 2: Restraint

Hey guys, this is part 2 of a 3 part series I’ve written on advanced body language. You can read part 1 below. And for those of you who wish to see some visual examples of what I’m talking about you can watch the video of me I’ve linked below (My keys episode).

In the last article I mentioned that, after systematically analyzing the shit out of the most prolific sexual icons in history, I managed to nail down a formula of how to move in a way that exudes many of the qualities humans (that’s women AND men) go crazy for. The first quality I explained was sexual presence, and if you’ve followed and practiced what I said then you should now have no trouble successfully approaching (and being approached by) the most beautiful women in the venue without getting blown out. But that is just the beginning and you now have a new challenge to undertake; how do you rise above the inevitable onslaught of shit tests and cockblocks?

John Bonham was the greatest drummer who ever lived. Most people, critics and fans alike, would agree with that statement. However, if you ask people why he was the greatest drummer of all time then the answers start to become a little convoluted. Keith Moon could hit just as hard, and his style and timing were equally (if not more so) groundbreaking. What sets Bonzo apart from all the other great drummers past and present? The answer, of course, is the very subject of this article.

John Bonham was the greatest drummer of all time because of his ability to show tremendous restraint. It was Bonzo’s ability to hold back that made him so attractive as a drummer. Just when you thought he was going as hard as he could, he would go harder… and then harder again, his unpredictability became legendary. He would tackle the most complex rhythms with such ease and panache that you would start to question whether or not there was any limit to his ability. John Bonham never showed his limits.

Restraint, in the context of seduction, is never showing your limits. Overcoming challenges with the least visible effort, but doing so in a way that hints at something much greater. How does this relate to body language? Well, it works the same way; less is more. Once you grasp the nuances of the most subtle physical reactions things become much, much easier. I’ll give you an example.

Put yourself in this situation

You are walking home from the bar one night alone. Up ahead you see a group of 2 rough looking guys who seem to be out to cause trouble. You walk by and they begin verbally assaulting you, you keep walking until they say “Hey you fucking fagot! Look at me when I talk to you!”

What happens?

The coward will run away.

The confident man will match their aggression with his own, and hope that his hand is stronger.

The ideal man, that is, the man who has complete control, will do neither. The ideal man will simply turn around and give the 2 men a look. That look, in all its simplicity, will communicate so much more than any words could possibly achieve. Understand that when men show aggression it’s always reaction seeking. They want a reaction because they need to gauge your limit, they want to read your hand. If you ever watch 2 male lions fighting you will notice something similar;

Before the fight, the beta lion will be just outside the alpha lion’s comfort zone and will begin threatening the alpha lion with roars and turning it’s head sideways to show off it’s teeth. The alpha lion will simply stand there and watch the beta lion. No amount of aggression on the beta lion’s part will affect the alpha lion in any way, he is a rock. If the beta lion moves forward, so does the alpha lion, even more so and without delay. What happens? Unless the beta lion has strength in numbers he will almost always accept defeat, even if he is much bigger than the alpha lion. If the alpha lion shows any sort of reaction to the beta’s aggression then they will almost always fight.

So how does all of this translate out in the field?

Advanced Body Language: Restraint

  1. The simple most subtle reactions are the best.

If you get shit tested hard (ie “why are you talking to us!?”) the best reaction is to not say a word. Simply smile, raise your eyebrows and cock your head back as if a 4 year old just challenged you to a fight in the most verbally insulting (and hilarious) way possible. If she admits defeat with her body language (she will look uncomfortable and not know what to say next) then you need to reward her, kino her and say “You have a lot of confidence, I like that”

  1. Make them show their hand first.

Often, when someone has the confidence to make a threat to someone whose limits they don’t know, they rarely have the confidence to do it twice. So, if a persistent Amog says something insulting like “Uhh dude these girls think you’re gay, you should leave” Simply smile confidently and without missing a beat say “Excuse me?!” then immediately look at the girls with eye code that says “is this guy an idiot?” Look back at the guy in a way that demands a reaction from him. His only option will be to ante up the aggression, in which case, read on…

  1. Actively encourage challengers

Nothing is more frightening to a man than an opponent who actively seeks, and seems to enjoy aggression thrown at him. Be confident in your ability to rise above, always remain calm, cool and collected. An unreactive man is a man who cannot be read, and therefore cannot be beaten.

Amog: “Don’t listen to this guy, he sounds like a fucking idiot

You: *Big smile* “Im sorry, did you just call me a FUCKING IDIOT?” Hold eye contact, actively expect a response. If he maintains his frame, read on…

  1. Never admit defeat

Never secede from their advances. Always make them ante up their aggression. If it gets to the point where you think they are going to make a scene (which rarely EVER happens) then simply smile, pat them on the back and say “You’re cool dude, you got a lot of confidence, I respect that” this will actually make people like you MORE. True alpha males respect other men who can stand up against them, the same is true for women. This is why you should NEVER admit defeat, take them as far as they can go then respect them for it, everybody wins.

Now that you have the body language of a rock star, and the confidence (through restraint) of an 800lb gorilla you should have no problem getting the girl right?

Actually, there’s still one piece missing from the puzzle, and it’s the most important piece.

With the advice I have given you so far you should be able to successfully sarge just about any set, and attract just about any woman, but this is advanced body language! There must be more! How do you go about attracting anyone, and I mean anyone! There is more to physical attraction than sexual presence and restraint, the third quality separates the players from the Legends. What secret did Don Juan, Cleopatra, and Casanova employ to make them so irresistible?

Stay tuned for part 3 where I go over the third quality: Aura and Mystique.

13 comments:

lifestream87 said...

I just saw some of your body language techniques in motion on Keys to the VIP. Great way to mix theory with practice. Definitely looking forward to the follow up post!

jay said...

goodshit cajun. enjoyed watching you on keys as well.

Ronmexico said...
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Ronmexico said...

This is a great post Cajun, really valuable and easy to understand, can't wait for part 3.

Kris Hughes said...

Sup guy, where's part 3? Looking forward to it.

hansome hyena said...

it is very true and inspiring what you are saying, cajun.
yet, it only starts really clicking when you SEE it happening (keys to the vip). thanks for sharing.

Kevin Cardinale said...

What if you have freinds who say, calm down man, dont start shit. Maybe the guy even says listen to your friends. I'm guessing to just maintain the matching attitude and to smile on his confidence after a bit.

DC Hero said...

Awesome material. I've maintained for awhile now that body language was far and away the most important pick up skill. I read The Definitive Book of Body Language last Fall, and it brought me more results than all pickup guides I've ever read. One thing I learned from that book was the power of displaying thumbs as symbols of power. It's a deadly tactic.

fasco99 said...

Hi Cajun. After more than 3 months, where's part 3?

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PoWers P. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PoWers P. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PoWers P. said...

Cajun, what can i do if the guy is touching you in an unfriendly manner (or is spanking you)?
Greetings!