Whenever students ask me how I learned to attract women with such ease I always say the same thing: Body language. I then recite a quote, something that was told to me a long time ago:
“Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n roll.”
A very wise man once told me this and I’m sure most of my students are just as confused as I was when I first heard it, but now several years (and many women) later I can whole-heartedly agree, it’s absolutely true.
One of the by-products of committing yourself to the study of attraction and how it works is that you start noticing things that you never noticed before. A lot of us instructors refer to this as “seeing the matrix” and it basically amounts to identifying and understanding the cause and effect of the most subtle communications; body language. It becomes somewhat of a sixth sense and it’s exceptionally difficult to turn off, especially if you’re at all an analytical person (and let’s face it, you kind of have to be if you want to get good at this stuff) This is why us instructors are so proficient at breaking down what students did right or wrong in a set simply by casually observing them. We can see the matrix.
I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language. I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language. Remembering the words of wisdom I had been told all those years ago, I turned to rock n roll.
I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my “sixth sense” to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern, there were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks.
The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my “sixth sense” absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of other sexual icons, I quickly made a list:
Advanced body language – Sexual Presence
- Less is more.
- Move only when you need to, and react with delay.
- Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater.
- Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful.
2. Poeticize your presence.
- Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed.
- Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses.
- Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting.
- Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything.
3. Emphasize your sexuality
- Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.
- Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.
- Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.
- Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.
- Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face.
I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines, I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…
Stay tuned for part 2 of the article where I go over the second quality: Restraint.
13 comments:
Fucking awesome post - To the point and practical. From your description of movement and posture it seems like you have to adopt a lower state of energy. Just like the old saying is to enter a set with equal or higher energy, it sounds like you're slowing down the tempo in your interactions. Sinn's recent post is about this. Are you bringing the set into your rhythm, or matching theirs? Looking forward to Pt. 2. Shout out from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.
kick ass motha fuckin post. i like you.
This is hard to visualize without video examples. Maybe some youtube clips?
Before I stumbled on the Keys vid and then made my way to this blog and this post, I found myself gazing at some random 80's rock video the other day as I was channel surfing. One of those Motley Crue imitator bands. The stuff these guys were wearing and doing was so incredibly silly yet with an air of complete seriousness. And knowing what I know now about game dynamics, I was thinking this is exactly one of the things that made these guys so appealing to 1000's of probably gorgeous groupies. They did stuff that an ordinary guy would be embarrassed to do. Only someone who was (over)confident with his sexuality could do that stuff with a straight face. And guess what it takes to get women to completly ease off of their own repressed sexual side? Someone to lead the way. It must have been fun watching the old Jagger footage, e.g. late 60's/early 70's. Get the Altamont film. Keith's BL alone is an education. Androgenous Mick. He was like the devil in that silly red cape. Hehe.
As this stuff becomes more internalized, and you have some-difficulty turning it off, i wonder if it has an impact on your ability to wing less-skilled pua's or students.
Do you find yourself recalibrating and becoming "less rockstar" in order to not entirely steal the show with body language?
Although I'm not an expert, I have this problem i think with some of my AFC friends in training...
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I know this question is out of the topic, what perfume do u think is best to catch a woman's attention, like your walking far away and a woman smells you and finds it interesting
God dammit Cajun, post another fucking blog already...Yeah, when I'm in work, I have nothing else to do, nothing...So post another awesome blog within the next week or I'll skull fuck you while reading out load your advanced body language articles.
Can you post a few pictures of these facial expressions, stances, etc.? This won't teach us right away, it will take some work, but having an image to refer to would be a huge help!
your tips of Body language is asom.i will try it.
Shana is a Certified Body Language Trainer and instructor who possess a Bachelor’s, Master’s, and Doctorate Degrees in Education. Shana wakes up each morning with a smile on her face, knowing that she has the ability to inspire, body language analysis, motivate, and make a profound difference in other people’s lives by helping them achieve their goals.
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