Whenever students ask me how I learned to attract women with such ease I always say the same thing: Body language. I then recite a quote, something that was told to me a long time ago:
“Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n roll.”
A very wise man once told me this and I’m sure most of my students are just as confused as I was when I first heard it, but now several years (and many women) later I can whole-heartedly agree, it’s absolutely true.
One of the by-products of committing yourself to the study of attraction and how it works is that you start noticing things that you never noticed before. A lot of us instructors refer to this as “seeing the matrix” and it basically amounts to identifying and understanding the cause and effect of the most subtle communications; body language. It becomes somewhat of a sixth sense and it’s exceptionally difficult to turn off, especially if you’re at all an analytical person (and let’s face it, you kind of have to be if you want to get good at this stuff) This is why us instructors are so proficient at breaking down what students did right or wrong in a set simply by casually observing them. We can see the matrix.
I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language. I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language. Remembering the words of wisdom I had been told all those years ago, I turned to rock n roll.
I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my “sixth sense” to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern, there were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks.
The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my “sixth sense” absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of other sexual icons, I quickly made a list:
Advanced body language – Sexual Presence
- Less is more.
- Move only when you need to, and react with delay.
- Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater.
- Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful.
2. Poeticize your presence.
- Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed.
- Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses.
- Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting.
- Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything.
3. Emphasize your sexuality
- Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.
- Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.
- Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.
- Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.
- Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face.
I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines, I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…
Stay tuned for part 2 of the article where I go over the second quality: Restraint.