Rod Stewart has no balls - VICTORY!!!

For those of you who are new to my blog, I wrote an article a while back about how my cat: Rod Stewart, is a fucking asshole.

Well guess what? I got that mother fucker neutered! I also managed to attract one of the vets at the clinic, so theres more to this article than me bragging about how I destroyed my cat's confidence, let me explain...

So it started off with a call to the vet clinic, its a small neighborhood one with 1 or 2 vets who also tend to answer the phone. Cute sounding girl picks up.

Kelly: Vet clinic, Kelly speaking.
Cajun: Hey Kelly, whats up?
Kelly: Not much, how can I help you?
Cajun: Well, I'm calling because I need to get Rod Stewart's balls destroyed.
Kelly: .....(explosive laughter, muffles phone)
Cajun: Don't laugh, he's been biting me all day...
Kelly: Rod Stewart is your cat I take it?
Cajun: Yeah, but I only named him that to embarrass him.
Kelly: Hahaha...

We talk for a bit and set up an appointment. I take him in a few days later to get a check-up to see if hes fit for surgery. When I come in I see that Kelly is actually young and HOT.

Kelly: Ahh so this is the infamous Rod Stewart, what a cutie!
*She begins scratching his chin, he makes a stupid noise that he probably thinks is cute.*
Cajun: Do you always butter them up before before ripping their balls of?
Kelly: Oh man, story of my life.
Cajun: Ah ha, vet humour, I love it.
Kelly: Yeah, Ive heard them all.
Cajun: I made a whole list of double-entendres I could use that are vet related before I came...just in case.
Kelly: Haha, smart thinking.

*She starts examining Rod*

Kelly: Is he aggressive?
Cajun: Yeah, he's an asshole, but a charming one, like me.
Kelly: What do you do when he misbehaves?
Cajun: Well I was squirting him with water and vinnegar, but now he seems to like that, so i've been experimenting with public embarassment.
Kelly: Haha how does that work?
Cajun: Well, I invite my friends over and we watch a video I took of him eating lettuce out of the garbage, then we all point and laugh at him. He gets really embarrassed, he doesn't want people to know he secretly enjoys lettuce.
Kelly: ......Ahahaha I can't even tell if you're being serious or not.
Cajun: Yeah, well if you have any ideas, I used to throw him in the shower when he was really bad but now he seems to like that too. He always whines when I have a shower, and I end up bringing him in.
Kelly: You shower with your cat?
Cajun: Yeah, he's fucked up.
Kelly: Haha my cat fell into the tub when I was bathing once, that will never happen again.
Cajun: You have a cat? I bet you totally put sweaters on him.
Kelly: Ahhhh no!
Cajun: So you're telling me that if I walk over to your desk I wont find a picture of a cat with a sweater on?
Kelly: Ahhh noooo its not mine!

*she touches me as she laughs. Rod, most likely upset that me and the vet are getting along, decides to bite me*

Cajun: Ahhh fuck!
Kelly: Haha he IS a dick!
Cajun: See! Totally unprovoked!

*Kelly examines his eyes*

Kelly: Are his eyes always watery like that?
Cajun: Yeah, hes a baby, he's always crying.
Kelly: No no, it looks like he may have herpes.
Cajun: What!?
Kelly: It's cat herpes, don't worry, you can't catch it, and its not that big of a deal.
Cajun: Oh my god this is the best news i've heard all day! How fitting that Rod Stewart has herpes! Could I get an official document that confirms that? I'll frame it with a picture of him looking really sad.
Kelly: Ahahaha unfortunately not, you guys have quite the love hate relationship don't you?
Cajun: Lets just say that him getting neutered is a big victory for me.
Kelly: He's gonna be really out of it afterwards, be nice.
Cajun: How does it work anyway? I was picturing like a giant mallet and you smash them as hard as you can?
Kelly: Hahahaha no, its just a small incision in the back of his testicles.
Cajun: Do you think you could play a song as you do it?
Kelly: ....What?
Cajun: I was thinking that if you play the song "Rhythm of my heart" by Rod Stewart as you neuter him that maybe he will link the song to ball destruction every time he hears it and I could use that to my advantage.
Kelly: As much as I would love to go along with that experiment, it wont do much, he'll be out of it the whole time.
Cajun: Ahh ok, I thought it would be a cool party trick...

Kelly finishes up and we set an appointment for the following week. I was thinking of going for her number as I didn't notice a ring on her finger, but I noticed pics on her desk of her and a dude, and someone called her while I was there and it sounded like a boyfriend conversation so I decided to play it cool for now. The funny thing is that I always end up attracting women by saying the stupidest things, I believe its mostly due to the fact that I tend to say things for my own amusement regardless of what other people may think.

The next week I brought Rod in and he said good bye to his boys. I made sure to berate him the whole week to really revel in the fact that I was finally getting back at him for all the cockblocks he had dished out to me in the past. You fuck with my balls, I fuck with yours!

He came home all doped up and was walking into walls and shit, and kept licking his dick in front of everyone like it was some sort of show. He seemed really embarrassed in general though. Chalk up another win for CAJUN, that righteous asshole!

Ill try to get another article up before next week, when im off to Ireland and Scotland for a few weeks. Theres still a few seats left for the bootcamps, so sign up now if you're interested before we sell out.

What happens when I use routines

So I had some 1 on 1s the past few days, for those of you who don't know, a 1on1 is like a personal bootcamp with me. Anyways, I always make sure to practice what I preach when it comes to the material I teach guys, normally I never use routines, but when im teaching I always do to show students that they work.

Anyways, in this situation I told my student to use the moustache opener because he told me he was thinking of growing one anyways. Of course I offered to demo the opener so he could see that it worked, thing is, I hate using routines so I always try to improvise stupid things into them to see if I can make fun of the girls and also handicap myself. I spotted 4 cute girls at a table and walked over.

Cajun: Hey what do you guys think about moustaches?
Girl1: They're gross...
Cajun: No I mean on guys though..
Girl1: ...What?
Girl2: ahahaha!
Girl3: Are you growing a moustache?
Cajun: Yeah, me and my friends are, for charity.
Girl4: What charity?
Cajun:.....the Burt Reynolds foundation for testicular cancer.
Girl4: What? Does he even have testicular cancer.
Cajun: (dead serious) No he has something called "cheddar cock"
Girl2: WHAT! hahahahah!
Cajun: Don't laugh, thats just the slang name, its apparently really serious, he might die.
Girl1: What is it?
Cajun: Well...its like these little orange mushrooms grow all over his foreskin.
Girl3: WHAT!?
Cajun: Yeah and apparently they taste like cheddar hence the slang name.
Girl2: (between fits of laughter) How do you know what they taste like!?
Cajun: I don't, he just posted that on his blog.
Girl1: Who did?
Cajun: Burt Reynolds...

Girl 2 is pretty much crying laughing right now, girl 1 (ugly) looks pissed, and the other 2 seem to believe what im saying.

Girl3: How do you get charity for growing a moustache?
Cajun: Well I grow it then donate it.
Girl4: Donate the moustache...
Cajun: (trying as hard as I can to appear dead serious) Yeah, you know guys who get chemotherapy, all their hair falls out, so I grow a moustache for them, donate it, and then they stick it on their lip with some scotch tape or something and then nobody knows they have cancer.
Girl4: You might be the most fucked up person i've ever met.
Girl2: I love him, he's hillarious! Drink with us!
Cajun: I should go make sure my friends are having fun without me, ill be right back...

Hahahah I love doing shit like this. Anyways, girl2 was a singer in a rock band and pretty hot, I ended up getting her number later on. My student still thinks im insane.

Super secret routine

So I have this routine that I only ever teach to students who go to my bootcamps and 1on1s. Actually, its not really a routine, more like a game you play in the comfort stage of the interaction. Its really the only thing you need to get through comfort and I like to call it "the greatest routine in the world". It took me 100's of hours in the field to perfect and was the result of me asking myself "How can I ace every date I go on from now on?"

Why is it so great?

- Simply knowing this routine alone will most likely double the amount of women in your life.
- It can be used in the bar, or on a date and can last over 2 hours easily.
- If used on a date it will eliminate any and all awkward silences because of the way its played.
- It creates immense attraction effortlessly.
- If used properly, and in its entirety it leads to intimacy 80% of the time... im not kidding.

Its no wonder that most of my students cite this routine as one of the major highlights of my bootcamps, often claiming down the road that it alone was worth the price of the bootcamp.

So why am I teasing you with all this?

Well, a couple reasons. First of all on October 17th we are having our semi-annual super-conference in LA where I will be presenting this routine publicly for the first time. For those of you who missed the last super conference in Vegas earlier this year its pretty much a who's who of all the major players in the pua scene. Ill be presenting this routine on the main stage for the better part of an hour as well as covering body language in the breakout room, which is essentially a classroom where we do exercises and activities.

Secondly, if you cant make it to LA, me and Tenmagnet will be in Europe before the super conference doing bootcamps in Dublin and Glasgow. These will be our only European bootcamps for quite some time so if you're European and want to learn this insane routine, amongst many other things, this may be your last chance for a while.

Anyways, if you have already learned this routine from me, feel free to leave a comment explaining the success you've had with it.

For those of you who wish to sign up for either the super conference or my bootcamps, go to www.lovesystems.com

Cajun & Tenmagnet seminar in Vancouver

YOOOOOOOOOo

So im back home in New Brunswick, which is why I havnt been posting, ive been too busy getting into trouble and being righteous. Anyways, my vacation is done this thursday when I fly out to Vancouver to help my good buddy Tenmagnet with a seminar. This will be the last time me and Tenmagnet do a Canadian city together for quite some time, we're headed to Europe in September and after that we have the super conference in LA.

Its pretty much an honour and a privilege to have me and Tenmagnet working your seminar together (haha I love saying that, im such an arrogant asshole), if you think im good, then remember that Tenmagnet was my teacher. As well, understand that which instructor you choose for your bootcamp changes the seminar experience quite significantly as we all have our specialties. Having both me and Tenmag means that you're getting double the specialties. This may be one of your only chances to learn from the grand masters of: Body language, subtext, phone game, natural game, inner game, improvisation, and humour. Of course, we still teach everything from starting a conversation to getting her back to your bed, and everything in between, so don't worry, if you have a sticking point, we'll cover it.

Anyways, if you're on the west coast and you've been thinking of going to a seminar, this would be the one.

Ill be posting regularly next week, so stay tuned.

My Story

From a recent interview I did:

"How did you first come across the PUA community? First as a "student", and now as an instructor?"


"This is an interesting but long story. My friend had sent me a copy of some David DeAngelo material around 2004. I started reading it and was impressed that someone had actually tried to logically explain what you need to do in order to attract a woman. DeAngelo's stuff opened my eyes to the idea of "working" at becoming a "natural" but I was in a relationship at the time and didn't think too much about it.

About a year later that relationship ended and I became interested in "dating science" again, I was at a friend's house and noticed this book on his couch that looked like a bible, it was of course "The Game" and I ended up borrowing it from him and read the whole thing that night. The entire time I was reading it I was thinking "Holy shit! all that these guys are doing is acting!" I was heavily into acting and improv at the time, and I considered myself talented at it, so to hear that there were guys going around using scripted lines and picking up Britney Spears made me VERY jealous.

I went out the very next night intent on proving to myself that I could use the same lines just as good if not better than the guys in the game. The funny thing is that that night paved the path that I would lead for the next 3 years. I ended up doing very well that night, my friends thought I was posessed. On the way home I met these two girls from Paris on the bus and ended up getting their phone numbers, and as I was getting off the bus a guy came up to me and said that what I did on the bus was awesome. His name was Sasha and I told him about this book I read and we started talking, he ended up living like a block away from me, so we walked home together. After explaining to him that I was working on a system to attract women he mentioned that I reminded him of an old friend named Erik who he used to hang out with in Toronto. I jokingly asked him if Erik was a magician (since I knew Mystery's real name was Erik) and he exclaimed "Yes he is! Do you know him?" Turns out Sasha used to hang out with Mystery back before any of the events in the game happened. I explained the book to him and he was shocked, not knowing what Erik had been up to since he last saw him a couple years earlier. We agreed to meet again the next day so I could show him the book.

Me and Sasha ended up becoming good friends and we both decided that we wanted in on the whole dating science thing. For the next 4 months we went out nearly EVERY night to practice our game. We would write all our own routines and share information on bits of paper like two students studying for a test, it was a lot of fun. We started to become known as two of the better guys in the Toronto community since we'd often share advice to other guys we'd meet while we were out, and it always got them results.

So after about 5 months of this hardcore sarging Sasha gets a call from Mystery who is in town and wants to see him again. We were already out so we both head over to the bar where he's at and I get to meet him, Matador, Lovedrop, Tenmagnet as well as a couple of the other instructors at the time. I try to convince them that I would be a great addition to their company but none of them seemed that interested. Mystery did end up giving me some good advice on how to deal with a playboy model I was dating at the time though!

So, two months later I'm back at the same bar (lone-wolfing since Sasha had moved back to Europe at this point) and who should I see but Tenmagnet! One of the instructors I had met with Mystery that night. He was talking to some beautiful women and unfortunately I didn't remember him and accidentally began trying to steal the girls away from him. He just sat there and watched and listened to what I was doing, observing me. After the girls started flirting with me Tenmagnet congratulated me and told me that he worked for Mystery and that what I just did was really impressive. I remembered him from before and we ended up talking for a while and he convinced me to come to his seminar a couple weeks later. I went to the seminar and showed him my stuff in the field and he was impressed enough to invite me to help him out on his next seminar, in fact he still maintains that I was the best student he's ever had hehe. Anyways, I ended up becoming really good friends with Tenmagnet since we both lived in Toronto and he kept inviting me to help out until I finally became an instructor with the company a couple months later.

So that brings us to today! Tenmagnet and myself now work for Lovesystems, which is the reformed mystery method, and the leading seduction school in the world and Sasha is one of the top dating coaches in Europe currently working on Project: Rockstar. What a happy ending!"

Sasha's and Tenmagnet's blogs are linked under my friends tab, check them out!

More video footage of me

Yooooo! I'm always getting emails asking for more video footage of me, so I thought I would throw you guys a bone this time.

I act sometimes for my friend's videos and commercials. Here's a couple.

Grasshopper Beer commercial

Phone Trap

Pepsi Access Commercial

Thought pulse commercial

Coin Laundry - Short film I won some acting awards from.

Phone trap is my favourite, we filmed it in Japan. I basically just acted like an idiot in a phone booth for 8 hours.

Today's Horoscopes

Just found this, it's the horoscopes I wrote for a local newspaper when I was 18. I wanted to make them the most fucked up horoscopes ever.

They were rejected of course...


Aries- You know Darryl came over to my house once and he said “Dwayne, sometimes you gotta give a little bit and take a little bit, and its your turn to take it” I was never quite sure what he meant at the moment, but I think you will be experiencing a lot of that today.

Gemini- Sometimes when you look at a child, the most pleasurable feeling comes over you, and you think of all the pleasurable things you could do with that child…if it were yours. But today you have to remember that the blonde haired child seemingly by himself is not your child, and that as much as you wish, children cannot be loaned.

Capricorn- Today you will experience understanding. Understanding is a powerful tool, for instance the other day uncle Teddy got drunk and vomited in the dryer. At first I realized that these things happen, but it wasn’t until Uncle Teddy turned the dryer on that I realized the notion of “Understanding” can often be stretched a little too far.

Pisces- Sometimes its hard when someone doesn’t understand you. Also, someone is hard sometimes when it doesn’t understand you. You see what I did there? When you mix around words, sometimes the meaning changes. Keep that in mind today.

Cancer- sometimes you have to make a choice. Yesterday I had to make several choices, one of them was what to have for supper; white meat or dark meat. Of course I picked Calvin. Remember to make the right choice today.

Virgo- Relationships can be a hard thing, especially when you have more than one. Which one should you choose? Dwayne or Stephen? In this case you should pick Dwayne because Stephen is a known sex offender.

Leo- Today you will have to make a hard decision, which is frustrating sometimes. For instance the decision I had yesterday on the parking garage of "What target?" was a hard one. Now that example is out of context but it still gets my point across.

Aquarius- Being able to define a situation is one of your strong points, although keep in mind that your definitions will not always be the same as other people’s. For instance my definition of the word “underage” may differ from yours.

Scorpio- Being in an uncomfortable situation can sometimes be really painful. But whenever I have someone in a “compromising” situation I always let them relax by telling them to just “sit back and let the good times roll”. Let people relax today.

Sagittarius- Remember to use the right words when describing people today. For instance, describing your new friend who watches you “from afar” as “Salty” or “Moist” are not common words used for describing people and may cause confusion. However “Menacing” and “rapist” are both words that many people understand.

Taurus- Sometimes people ask stupid questions, like “What’s that hole for?” Now I know what your thinking, “that’s a little vague!” But the fact is I don’t really know what that hole IS for and I’m not mentioning which one it is until I find out. Be prepared to find out today.

Libra- You should try not to blurt out personal questions today like “what does tradition sound like” Because the answer is different for everyone, for me its kicking a small dog.


I'll be writing a few posts this week (I promise!) I just got back from Las Vegas, where ive been for the past 2 weeks, so I'll pump a few more pieces out before I head back to work again this weekend.